Could you tell us a little bit about yourself Isobel?

Hello! I live in Devon and run a small business. I am pretty active and enjoy sea swimming, dancing, and have an allotment

Before you started the Dating Evolved Group Program, where were you with relationships and dating?

I had been on my own for most of the past 20 years. I dated now and then but nothing had really got off the ground. Before that I'd had some good relationships, of up to 2-3 years duration.

What do you think were your biggest challenges in moving on from that situation? 

I had almost given up hope, as I had tried a local singles social group, and an expensive bespoke matchmaker, all to no avail.
I have had ME/Chronic Fatigue Syndrome since my 30s and have had to pace myself in all aspects of my life. And so I didn’t have unlimited energy to get out looking for a relationship. I did find the singles socials fun, but draining. I hadn’t tried internet dating and was afraid of trying that. I had heard bad stories generally from other single women (and no good stories).
Although I had the energy illness, I was pretty active with my allotment, swimming and dance. All of which were very beneficial to me, and at the same time used up a lot of my limited energy

How do you feel the Dating Evolved Group Program helped with this?

The Dating Evolved Group Program gave me confirmation that I wasn’t doing everything wrong, my attitudes were generally OK and that my expectations weren’t unreasonable. I found the scientifically backed information very useful. Being part of a group was supportive, and especially after the course finished, joining the monthly ongoing group calls was transformational.  There was so much on the course that I hadn’t come across before which gave me a great background to try a different approach, and there was a lot of information about how to make online dating work for you, as well as how to stay safe.

Were there any particular modules that resonated? 

There was a drip drip drip of information during the sessions, leading to an increasing confidence of how to get this right, how to approach dating in a different way. It’s now about 3 years since I did the program and I still review the material and have probably gone through the whole course 2-3 times.

Do you feel that the Dating Evolved community was helpful in supporting you? 

The Dating Evolved community was extremely helpful in supporting my path to dating. If I hadn’t joined the monthly group calls, I suspect that I may have stayed single for a very very long time. I was particularly inspired by one of the members, Adele, who had been successfully meeting good men through an online dating website.
It's been such a delight to be part of this supportive community and to learn and grow through our shared experiences.

What do you think was the most helpful thing you got from the Dating Evolved program?

It’s difficult to name one thing that made the difference as every part of the course and the group calls have played a part. If I must nail it down it would be two things:  Being supported and encouraged to join an online dating site, and learning about my attachment style and the pitfalls to watch out for.

I know you’ve been in a lovely relationship for over a year now! Can you tell us how you met your man and how things have been progressing?

I met my man through an online dating site. We have been together for about 18 months. I didn’t have high hopes at the start. The me of 12 months ago would be amazed that it’s still ongoing and growing and deepening. Relationships change us. I am a softer and gentler being.

I know that in spite of all the good things about being with Peter, you’ve been having trouble committing to being with him in the long term. Where do you think that comes from? Do you feel it’s something you can work on and overcome?

In spite of the many wonderful things about being with Peter, I have struggled at times to believe in our relationship enduring in the long term. Mairi and the group have been amazingly supportive around this. When I did the program back in 2020 I had identified my anxious attachment style, but more recently Mairi has helped me to see that I have avoidant issues as well, which have really got in my way. I am learning to get around this slowly and surely.

How would you describe the change in your life since you went through the Dating Evolved program?

The change in my life since doing the Dating Evolved program has been remarkable, and especially since meeting my lovely man. Even before I met Peter, I had some really good experience with online dating. I really embraced the whole thing and had some good short-term relationships. I am a much happier woman.

Do you have any advice for women who are looking for a partner and are perhaps afraid to get started, or feel like it’ll never happen for them?

I cannot recommend the Dating Evolved Program enough, and I cannot recommend the group calls enough. We all deserve to love and be loved. If what you have been doing to find a relationship hasn’t quite worked, then I wholeheartedly suggest that you do Mairi’s program ASAP. You’re worth it!