10 dating green flags to look out for

When I’m dishing out dating advice, I talk a lot about NOT relying on “the spark” on a first date to tell you if a guy is a keeper. 

To find a good man you might have to ditch the idea of your “type” and give someone that doesn’t immediately float your boat a chance to grow on you. Maybe someone that doesn’t have the smooth moves on the first date (after all, men who are great on a first date may well have been on a lot of first dates…)

Most of my clients, after going through the Dating Evolved program, tend to go down the “slow burn” route to get into their lovely, lasting relationships, and these are often with men that they wouldn’t have considered previously – but they end up in a better situation than ever before.

The thing is, if you find someone who has great qualities for a long-term relationship, they might not give you the hots right away. But research shows that if we give them time, when we gradually get to know them better, we come to find them physically more attractive and the desire grows.

But how do we know if they have those great qualities? How do we know if we’re wasting our time, flogging a dead horse, or if our feelings are going to blossom and we’ll ultimately fall for this guy?

So… I’ve put together a list of “green flags” to look out for! You’ll be used to red flags – the traits or behaviours that rule a guy out as a good prospect, but equally important is to check that your man has what it takes to make you happy and secure.

So here goes…

He’s making an effort

This starts right at the beginning with his online dating profile. Does he have decent, up-to-date-looking photos? i.e. not a selfie taken in the bathroom mirror! If he’s made an effort with his pictures and his written profile then there’s much more chance he’s serious about finding an actual relationship.

And then does he make an effort to plan nice dates, taking into account your wants and needs? 

Does he take a bit of care over what he wears (including good personal hygiene of course – you might think that’s a given, but so many men don’t bother!). This is a minimum green flag!

He seems ready for a relationship

By this I mean he’s not still embroiled in a break-up or harping on at length about how is ex is treating him. If he’s enthusiastic about moving forwards and getting to know you without any baggage getting in the way – this is good.

He’s interested in your opinions and experiences

A LOT of guys at the beginning have a habit of dominating the conversation with tales of their experiences or with monologues about their particular topic of expertise. It can be annoying but you might want to give them a break – they’re trying to impress you…

The important thing though is what happens when you DO get a word in edgeways and express an opinion or a desire. If he listens properly to you and acts upon what you’re saying – that’s a very good sign that things will go well going forwards.

He shares your values

You’re much much more likely to be able to have a good relationship with a guy if you’re aligned on the big things, like deeply held political or religious beliefs, attitudes to gender roles, or your big picture for what’s happening in your life. 

It doesn’t matter so much whether or not he shares your hobbies. Yes, if he loves mountain biking or classical music as much as you do that’s great. But if not, you can always head for the hills or the opera house with one of your mates who’s into that kind of thing – or you may even find that your man becomes inspired to join you in your passion.

Sharing deeply held values though – that’s the biggie.

He’s happy to open up

If a guy doesn’t want to reveal his feelings or talk about things that really matter to him this could indicate that he’s emotionally unavailable or avoidant, and that in turn means it’s going to be hard to get close to him.

While OVER disclosing right at the start may well be a bit unhealthy and could indicate insecurity, a guy who’s happy to open up when appropriate, tell you about his life and his ambitions, perhaps show a little vulnerability – he’s going to be someone you can form a real connection with.

He puts himself out for you

Beware being impressed when a guy splashes the cash or regales you with entertaining stories in an attempt to impress you, but then doesn’t bother to make sure you get home safely.

What you want is a guy with a high “welfare trade-off ratio”, meaning that he’s willing to sacrifice his own benefit to look after you. So this is the man who would give you the coat off his back to keep you warm on a cold day or get up at the crack of dawn to drive you to the airport.

He talks positively about his friends and family

If he clearly has a good relationship with his family members and he has good friends around him, that’s a great sign. Even better if he’s keen for you to meet them and includes you in his close circle.

He gets on with your friends and family

If your friends like your man and, crucially, think he’s good for you then that’s a green flag because friends can often pick up on warning signs that you can’t in your infatuated state. 

And if your man makes an effort to get on well with the people that are important in your life, even when he’s maybe not that fond of them himself, that’s a great sign that he’s properly invested in his relationship with you.

He can admit when he’s wrong

Many men – many people – have fragile egos and are reluctant to back down or own up to mistakes, which is going to make having a relationship with such a person very difficult.

But someone who actually has the confidence to admit to being in the wrong sometimes is someone who’s going to show some flexibility, and have the ability to compromise in a relationship.

It feels easy with him

Many of us feel that a guy has to have a bit of an edge, be a bit challenging for us to be attracted to him and consider dating him. We end up in relationships where we don’t know where we stand, we’re on an emotional rollercoaster and the whole thing takes up most of our energy and brain capacity.

It doesn’t have to be this way though. A good bloke will make things easy. You’ll know where you stand. You can be yourself. 

Having this secure base with a partner will make you able to give energy to other important things in your life, to take chances and be brave, knowing that a good guy has got your back. 

This is the kind of man you need for a great relationship, and so it’s really worth giving him a chance!

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So these green flags are all indicators that your man may well have what it takes to make you happy in a long term relationship with him. If he ticks most of these boxes then you’ve probably got yourself a keeper and it’s likely well worth giving him a chance to grow on you. 

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And if you’re ready to get going big time with finding your man and would like some excellent advice and support to help you do this, now is the time to sign up for our Dating Evolved Small-Group Program as I’ve just opened up the EARLY-BIRD SPECIAL OFFER for our January 2025 intake!

CLICK HERE FOR MORE INFO AND TO RESERVE YOUR EARLY-BIRD PLACE IN OUR JANUARY POD

By signing up now - as well as accessing my flagship program which will give you all the advice, tools and ongoing support you need to succeed in finding a good man for a great relationship – you’ll also get:

• 10% off the cost of the program
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• An extra nearly 2 months’ membership of the Dating Evolved Academy so you can come along to the group calls in December and early January (in addition to the 12 months membership from then on) and you’ll have access to recordings of previous sessions and other useful resources

So if you’ve been thinking for a while it’s time to get serious about finding a good man – this is a no brainer.

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And if you’re not sure, and you’d like to have a chat to see if the program is a good fit for you, or if there are other ways I can help, do feel free to book a complimentary call with me >>HERE<<.

Much love,

Mairi